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Hmm was I being too defensive? [Aug. 1st, 2004|07:55 pm]
abs_suck

abs_suck

[theunopenedbook]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

Some guy on yahoo imed me today and I got somewhat offended at what he said. He didn't seem to understand why. Would this piss anyone else off just as much?



shutterbug10027 (7:04:20 PM): You're cute
shutterbug10027 (7:04:30 PM): Sorry about your condition. God bless you.
campbaby33 (7:05:10 PM): No need to be sorry
shutterbug10027 (7:05:28 PM): how about empathetic?
campbaby33 (7:05:59 PM): how about you could just treat like you would anyone else
campbaby33 (7:06:06 PM): See you later
shutterbug10027 (7:06:16 PM): get your dictionary out
campbaby33 (7:06:37 PM): there's nothing to empathize with
shutterbug10027 (7:06:48 PM): everyone can use empathy - i sure can
shutterbug10027 (7:07:17 PM): if you don't want someone who tries to understand you and feels for any struggles you have then thats too bad
shutterbug10027 (7:07:33 PM): i didnt say sympathy
shutterbug10027 (7:07:40 PM): there's a difference
shutterbug10027 (7:07:57 PM): try www.dictionary.com
campbaby33 (7:09:06 PM): i know what the difference is
campbaby33 (7:09:37 PM): would you ever empathize with an able bodied person?
shutterbug10027 (7:09:50 PM): i often do
shutterbug10027 (7:10:13 PM): i'd like to think i can do that with all people
shutterbug10027 (7:10:19 PM): but i'm not that nice
campbaby33 (7:10:24 PM): well acting as though I am suffering through some sort of condition offends me, i'm sorry
shutterbug10027 (7:10:28 PM): i guess i'm prejudice
shutterbug10027 (7:11:28 PM): that fact is you aren't like everyone else physically - doesnt make you a freak - just different
shutterbug10027 (7:11:56 PM): and to say that you dont have more struggle than others is a lie
shutterbug10027 (7:12:13 PM): enter "empathy"
shutterbug10027 (7:12:22 PM): i didnt say pity
shutterbug10027 (7:12:32 PM): or even sympathy
shutterbug10027 (7:13:26 PM): excuse my candid comment
campbaby33 (7:15:30 PM): well the best way to empathize with me is to treat me the way you would treat an able bodied person
shutterbug10027 (7:15:47 PM): 1.) i havent had a chance
shutterbug10027 (7:16:08 PM): 2.) i try to empathize with able bodied people as well
shutterbug10027 (7:17:02 PM): and, in fact, i did treat you as normal - i said you were cute
campbaby33 (7:17:36 PM): k
shutterbug10027 (7:18:24 PM): so other than being cute, i see you are tempermental
shutterbug10027 (7:19:02 PM): oh, and the proper response to "you're cute" is "thank you"...
campbaby33 (7:19:43 PM): k thank you
shutterbug10027 (7:20:35 PM): don't worry, while i empathize with some of your physical struggles, i also pity you in that you are like oscar the grouch!
shutterbug10027 (7:20:47 PM): does that make you feel more normal?
campbaby33 (7:23:02 PM): ok well I have to go
campbaby33 (7:23:05 PM): see you later
shutterbug10027 (7:23:52 PM): i was watching your videos
campbaby33 (7:24:24 PM): And
shutterbug10027 (7:25:47 PM): i still think you are cute, i am really impressed with your "resume"/accomplishments, but like most people online/most people in today's work/most humans you don't leave me exactly with a warm feeling
shutterbug10027 (7:26:26 PM): i guess i just dont know enough about you
shutterbug10027 (7:27:25 PM): but you seem busy and apparently i bugged you, so i'll let you get back to whatever you were doing
campbaby33 (7:29:18 PM): well certain things upset me and it seemed like you were pitying me, anyone with a disability would've taken offence to that comment
campbaby33 (7:29:35 PM): even if you didn't mean it to be pitying
shutterbug10027 (7:30:25 PM): Just remember... Empathy is not in itself a bad thing. In my case it means I noticed you and felt a sense of awareness of who you might be. It shows that I am interested enough in you to take notice and think beyond myself
shutterbug10027 (7:30:40 PM): well life isn't always perfectly scripted
shutterbug10027 (7:30:44 PM): mea culpa
shutterbug10027 (7:31:44 PM): and if you had started a conversation with me you might understand what i was saying better
campbaby33 (7:32:58 PM): Well I need to go, ttyl
shutterbug10027 (7:33:01 PM): i wish people empathized with me more, so when i see someone that undeniably is going through some form of struggle/challenge it makes me wanna say, "Hey, man (woman), I see you for who you are and I wish I could know/understand what you feel better"
shutterbug10027 (7:33:40 PM): obviously you dont understand
shutterbug10027 (7:34:08 PM): i doubt you'll TTYL, but have a nice night regardless
campbaby33 (7:36:25 PM): you too

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: poofkin
2004-08-02 12:31 am (UTC)
I would have been pissed. Not just because he was "empathizing" with you, but because he felt like he needed to teach you manners, or try to tell you that you needed to be glad for him being so "understanding". He was an ass. Plus, I hate when people say "God bless" after they say something about my "condition". He was very annoying with trying to tell you what empathy is. I'm sure you have had enough "empathy" to know what it is, and if you want it or not.

One time I was talking to a guy online and he told me that if I repented my sins, God would heal me. And all the time people tell me that they are going to pray for me. I hate it. They always want me "welcome Jesus into my life". If I wanted to do that, I would have already. There is no need for them to try to tell me how to live my life. I don't see them telling an able bodied person that they are going to pray for them. And there are many able bodied people that are much worse off than me. It's so frustrating that people assume that I have a bad life because my body isn't healthy, and I am disabled.

Mandas
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